Tuesday, April 10, 2012

Depression is...

So I've taken a couple of weeks off from work.  Trying to get my "act together".  It is slow progress. 

I still dread the mornings and fear the moment I open my eyes.  It seems that if I can prolong the reality that a new day has arrived I can keep panic at bay.

What am I afraid of ??

I have no clue... 

I usually wake up with two cats and one dog in bed with me....they are happy enough companions...nothing to fear with them at my side.

I roll from my bed after 20 or so snooze alarms and do the usual stuff.  You know...let the dog out, go potty, make a cup of coffee, water the animals, clean the cat litter, wander through the house and pick up the throw pillows, fold up the blankets and put them back on the couch, pick up pop cans and put them in the garbage, throw Jameson's stinky socks in the laundry (the ones forever behind the bathroom door). 

By this time I have been up about thirty minutes and I am already exhausted and need to battle the urge to go back to bed.  It is then that I see the crumbs on the kitchen counter...the counter that was clean when I went to bed last night...and just seems like too much for me to handle. 

Yup...Depression is crumby... 


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