Saturday, March 5, 2011

::wrestling:::

"Then Jacob was left alone, and a man wrested with him until daybreak." Genesis 32:24

Okay, I am going to keep this short folks.  Mostly because I am very uncomfortable with what I am about to say.  For the record, I don't do stuff like this, I don't say stuff like this. So I am going to quickly set this out there and then slide back into the periphery.

So here goes...


I have ALWAYS struggled with prayer.  No secret there.  And it is not that I don't believe in prayer.  I do.  I do.  I do. 

But I am critical by nature and I have been known to judge the church and religious tradition harshly...

What I've witnessed in church and heard as others share their "outloud" prayers has always fallen flat to my ears and my heart. Nothing but sanitized salutations in my opinion.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Okay, I had to take a break from this.  What I am trying to say is really not coming out well and I am getting too worried about offending people...

Here it is.  Prayer in my life does not exist in the WORD realm.  I wish it did.  I long for verbal eloquence or beautifully scripted prose...but sadly that is not how I am wired when it comes to prayer.  It has taken me a long time to figure this out. 

Since I don't pray like I've historically witnessed others to do I figured that I was flawed, just another short-coming.  So prayer fell into the realm of bowling.  Yes, I said "bowling".  I suck at bowling; therefore, I do not bowl...and since I didn't pray appropriately, I never openly prayed for others.

Well about 2-3 weeks ago, I woke up in the middle of the night (which I rarely do) and felt the oddest emotional, heart-gut wrenching compulsion that I was to pray for Jenny & Luke Norbie.  Now I hardly know either one of them.  I worked with Luke for a short time many years ago and I don't believe that I have ever directly spoken to Jenny.  So this was very odd.  So in the middle of the night I lay in bed weeping, arguing, crying out...for healing, hope and mercy.

A lot of times when I pray out of my heart-gut it is not pretty.  I cry.  I rage.  I stomp my feet.  I do lots of things that I'd rather not let people see or hear...

AND honestly, when I see the FaceBook petitions for prayer I cringe a little...it is just not me.  You know the FB entry that looks like this:
 


Jane Doe

"Praying....Praying...Praying!"

              
             3 Like
             
            


It is hard for me to wrestle with God on FaceBook and maintain any semblance of dignity.  But then I am reminded that dignity is closely related to pride and we all know where pride got me...

Okay, Jen & Luke need prayer.  AND I am going to embrace social media and take up their cause.  Please check out their CaringBridge site: Click Here 

They are currently in California and asking that a specific prayer be lifted on their behalf.  So this is easy folks you don't even have to invent the words...

"Father God we thank you that you have provided redemption and healing through the precious blood of your Son, Jesus.  God we ask that you would touch Jenny's body with your healing power.  God we speak life, strength on her behalf.  Amen"


I am Stepping down from the podium now...


"Biblical prayer is impertinent, persistent, shameless, indecorous.  It is more like haggling in an outdoor bazaar than the polite monologues of the church"~Walter Wink

(thank-you Mr. Wink)

"And behold, I am with you, and will keep you wherever you go, and will bring you back to this land; for I will not leave you untill I have done what I have promised you" Genesis 28: 15






1 comment:

  1. It is probably uncool to comment on you own blog, but it must be done. Based upon a few of the FB comments I got I am pretty sure I missed the mark here. Please disregard any comment I made about myself, my discomfort or my personal opinions...Just read the part about Jenny & Luke...please.
    Annette

    ReplyDelete