Thursday, October 21, 2010

unmentionables

I have been creatively stunted lately.  Just haven't felt that I have much to contribute to the Blogosphere.  These "dry spells" generally coincide with periods of duress.  Too much work.  Too little play.  Too.  Too. Too everything...

However today I have had a breakthrough and have some thoughts I would like to share.  Life still feels a little (okay, "a lot") cRoOKed & UnBALAnCeD, but I need to say something, or surely my head will soon go kablooey!

My topic really is quite sensitive, a little delicate and in some circles unmentionable.
Let's talk BVDs, G-strings, bikinis, boxers, briefs,  drawers, intimate things, lingerie, loincloth, long johns, panties, skivvies, underclothes, undies undergarment, underpants, underthings, knickers, and bloomers...

Lately I have found myself describing the quality of a day in terms of what a particular undergarment might feel like to ME should I be required to wear it.

For instance, a happy, contented, peaceful & productive day equates (in my world) wearing the classic brief : nylon shell, no lace (too itchy), tags torn out and a cotton crotch... 
A less satisfying day would perhaps be labeled a hipster or high cut brief  day.  Life is pretty good with just a few adjustments here and there.

A "bad day" is equivalent to the boy short or bloomers.  I think that bloomers really are quite deceptive; they give the illusion & promise of comfort, but in reality they ride up and twist on you at will.  


In my world an absolute crap day is symbolized by the infamous thong .   If I were to report to you that, "I am having a thong kinda day", it would probably be in your best interests to stay away and let me ride out the wedgie.

Speaking of thongs...I woke this morning all crabbied-up and irritated and sent the following text to a friend who understands my strange language.  It read: 

"Thong.  On backwards.  And it is splitting the girls in two.  And you?" 


And with that word picture I will leave you...

 
Wishing you all a "cotton-crotch" kinda day,

The Church Organist Daughter
 

1 comment:

  1. You are too funny guess thats what I like about you. Funny but oh so serious

    ReplyDelete