Sunday, May 2, 2010

a cat named Pecker...

You may be thinking that this is an odd topic....well it is and it isn't. You may be thinking that this is an inapproriate topic...well again, it is and it isn't.

I have been doing a lot of thinking lately about what it is to be married. I mean what it is to be married to someone for twenty plus years. What it is to married to someone who for 19 of those 20+ years that you really just tolerated...and they tolerated you...

Addiction & Alcoholism are hard on a marriage. Isolation, fear, anger and lonliness take over. Communication is nil. The only time I emerged from my quiet was when I drank--and then what I had to say was usually none too pleasant. So silence was safe AND it was mine...

So--I now love my husband again, don't ask me how that happened, it just did. I'm pretty sure it is a God thing. I even think he is cute again (grey hair, tummy and all) Best of all I even LIKE him again. So now we talk...(Yes, this is where the story about the cat named Pecker starts...)

We talk about lots of stuff AND we even text to one another when we can't talk out loud. Some of our best convo's happen via Blackberry. Here, let me prove it...

K: "Unreal, you'll never guess what happened today."

A: "What?"

K: "I love you more!"

K: "I love you more!"

K: "I love you more!"

A: "So can I have a kitty?"

K: "Try again"

A: "Okay. So can I have a kitty?"

K: "OK"

A: "WaaaaHoooo!"

K: "Goof"

A: "I'm gonna start thinking up names!"

K: "Think for a long time"

A: "I want a boy cat and call him Pecker"

A: "Here Pecker, Pecker, Pecker..."

K: "I would come running too"

A: " I am laughing and I have to pee..."

K: "Stay off my side of the bed"

A: "Thought you loved me more"

K: "I do just don't want to sleep in pee"

A: "I'd make sure I let it air dry..."

K: "Thanks"

A: "This conversation has deteriorated"

K: "Yea, you have to pee"

A: "Yup! Bye! Love you more..."

Honestly, this man is a gift...he is the ONLY one who has even come remotely close to understanding me. Just think--19 years of silence--1 year of "peckers", "pee", and "I love you more..."

What will we talk about next? I can hardly wait...

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