For much too long I have chosen to keep to myself, fearing that others think I am "crazy" or at a minimum downright "odd". However, I have come to a place in my life where I can accept the latter as true and I wish to share some of my "odd" thoughts with you.
I have been thinking of late about what gives me joy...and this is it! I have always loved to write. I have kept a journal for years and love the sensation of my pencil scratching across paper. For me there is a special thrill in bending words around my thoughts. If I can write something and cry or laugh when it is complete--that is success. I have finally realized that it is only when I scribble--pen to paper--that sanity leaks to my surface.
Jealously I have coveted the gifts of those with mastery of the spoken word. Unfortunately I am neither verbally gifted nor quick witted. I stumble over words, say stupid things or worse yet, say nothing at all! So I have been labeled by others as "quiet", "reserved", "shy". Words aloud spill out muddled and chaotic; but words on paper come out clean, organized, crafted, even eloquent at my very best. These written words are a laxative of sorts for my constipated mind (Sorry about the imagery there--it is a nursing thing--I'm an RN).
Most importantly perhaps is that when I write I hear my sober voice. In this blog I hope to let out the crazy woman inside of me that I use to try and shut up with alcohol. Slowly I am discovering the real me and in my humble opinion, "crazy" is more than okay...