Tuesday, March 23, 2010

why do I write?


For much too long I have chosen to keep to myself, fearing that others think I am "crazy" or at a minimum downright "odd". However, I have come to a place in my life where I can accept the latter as true and I wish to share some of my "odd" thoughts with you.

I have been thinking of late about what gives me joy...and this is it! I have always loved to write. I have kept a journal for years and love the sensation of my pencil scratching across paper. For me there is a special thrill in bending words around my thoughts. If I can write something and cry or laugh when it is complete--that is success. I have finally realized that it is only when I scribble--pen to paper--that sanity leaks to my surface.

Jealously I have coveted the gifts of those with mastery of the spoken word. Unfortunately I am neither verbally gifted nor quick witted. I stumble over words, say stupid things or worse yet, say nothing at all! So I have been labeled by others as "quiet", "reserved", "shy". Words aloud spill out muddled and chaotic; but words on paper come out clean, organized, crafted, even eloquent at my very best. These written words are a laxative of sorts for my constipated mind (Sorry about the imagery there--it is a nursing thing--I'm an RN).

Most importantly perhaps is that when I write I hear my sober voice. In this blog I hope to let out the crazy woman inside of me that I use to try and shut up with alcohol. Slowly I am discovering the real me and in my humble opinion, "crazy" is more than okay...
J42D,
Annette--the CoD

3 comments:

  1. Wonderfully and Eloquently put Annette. I do believe that this blog will not only be healing for you but to those of us that are following you on this journey of self-descovery. You almost made me cry...almost. Now onto Full House and Addiction blogs, I know there in that head of yours:) Love you!

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  2. You are such a faithful follower!!!

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  3. LOVE LOVE LOVE this. :) Me too. You just described (largely) why I write. I totally understand and I'm so glad you'll be sharing your "oddness" here. I have a hunch you'll find kindred spirits who think of you NOT as odd (except for the quirky goodness of you) and more like them. That's my favorite part about blogging.

    Keep comin' back! :)

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